Note: Regular updates will be coming back soon! Meanwhile...
As we grow up, we see more things and learn how not to be an ass(or how to be less of one). Our thoughts mature by age, and I learn how to think from both sides of the coin. Of course, I still make mistakes and I might even say stupid things once in awhile.
So now, more than before, I want people to be honest with me. It's better to let me rage(or cry, I'm really good at it :X) than for me to find out later and be even more hurt. How could people talk behind the backs of their close friends? Come on, what are friends for? They can poke fun about your blubber(in a minimal and nice way please) and you can laugh about it together without feeling offended. What are friends not for? They tell the whole world how much you suck, and failing to see that they are the only ones laughing, and that you are not okay with it. Even better, they smile at you then climb all over you and start saying ugly things about you to other people.
I'm quite a nice person. I'm not trying to boast, I'm just saying that I'm pretty tolerant with people, especially with my close friends - forgiving them, helping them, and trying to understand them. I try my best not to bad mouth them, I don't participate in thrashing them(I listen and frown), I defend them, and even if I have something bad to say, it's strictly a criticism where I hope that they could improve on. It's because I value these people and I genuinely care. I want them to be better. Otherwise I wouldn't bother (lightly) sugar coating bitter stuff.
Stop taking advantage of me. I might disregard it, but I'm not an idiot, so don't act like you don't know what's coming out of your mouth or your keyboard. I gossip, but I don't bring you down. I hardly question tight friendships, the kind that are really precious to me, where I see us still being friends 50 years down the road. I done it once this year, don't make me do it to you.
Again, I really wish my friends could be more honest with me. I cry over the smallest things. But I'm most sensitive when it comes to how my family sees me, and my friends. I'm really sensitive when people ignore me. It has happened again. I haven't cried about it, but it's really confuzzling me. Nothing happened, but it happened. It wasn't a small change, it was deliberately done. I keep thinking why it happened, but I can't find a conclusion. If there's a problem, I'll solve it. If you need time and space, I'll respect it. But please, don't leave me hanging. If you don't tell me anything, then I can't do anything. Our friendship is meaningful, I won't throw this away. I believe we are all matured enough to talk our problems out. If it's because of my enthusiasm over certain things that distracted you, I'll leave them aside. Or maybe it's something I said, I might not have realized it, but I'm ready to say sorry. I just need you to let me say it. It's not about who's right and who's wrong, it's about making it okay again. Isn't that what friends are for?
I'm still counting down the days when you finally speak to me.
I think I've written a little too much, I don't think I can't even remember what I wrote. o__o But don't worry too much people! Nothing srz, just had to let it out. C8 I want to join NaNoWriMo. .___.
Quote of the Day: "Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps." - William Shakespere.